Sleep Is For Beginners

3 06 2009

sleep 001Dear little criminal,
Maybe you could do a post on sleep deprivation as a tool to get what
you want. I’m 3 and my mom hasn’t slept through the night since I
was born.

Your friend and like minded criminal

*sneaky pete*

Dear sneaky pete,

If mom and dad get a good night sleep they wake up all rested and stuff. You know, all energetic and strong and thinking straight.
That’s not good. You want them tired, ’cause a tired parent is slow and weak and has a hard time saying “no.”

Sounds like you are doing a great job, so far. But you never know when they’re going to start finding ways to get some rest. So keep waking them up at night to keep them off balance.

If you can keep them tired, you can get pretty much anything you want. You can aim small, like having maple syrup and pickles for breakfast.
I like to aim high. I have a note from my dad promising me a Escalade with spinners when I turn 10.

I let him sleep through a whole episode of The Wiggles for that.

Keep up the good work.






10 responses

3 06 2009

Tired moms are super mean. I know this to be true. Beware.

3 06 2009
Redneck Mommy

Dying laughing.

Dammit. It is as if my children are reaching out and teaching all the little criminals of the world their wicked ways and promoting their criminal thinking.

4 06 2009
Tia The Sarcastic Mime

Mommies who haven’t slept in 4 years may also start screaming and tossing little hooligans in their jail/bedroom (where they break things and scribble on the wall.) Eventually, Social Services might have to take the tiny deviants to a foster home, when mommy finally cracks.

4 06 2009

I once heard that parents act like they haven’t slept but are actually plotting a way to catch their little bad bastards in action. Yeah right…

4 06 2009

Sleep is for the weak. Take this from a mom who hasn’t slept in 5 years.

4 06 2009
Jennifer Juniper

Little kids who wake up parents at night have to take naps longer…think about it…seriously

4 06 2009
sneaky pete

Barney is playing, mommy is sleeping, I have permanent markers. I hope she likes her new makeup!

4 06 2009

Kat, I feel your pain, I don’t get much either.

Parents combat this by tag teaming on the weekend and catching up with sleep. One naps while the other is on point – then switch. Don’t let the little monsters win!

5 06 2009

Dear Little Criminal,

Revenge is a dish best served cold. And when you’re a teenager and want to sleep until say 6pm, well, that’s when we play our version of the sleep deprivation game with you. Mwahahahahahaha!



1 09 2014
patch inflatable bed

This is a topic which is close to my heart… Cheers!

Where aare your contact details though?

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