This Is Not The Criminal You Are Looking For

9 06 2009

So far I’ve told you about a few different ways to commit your crimes. You can pick your dad’s (or mom’s) pocket. You can grab and run with some cookies. You can sneak around unnoticed, like a ninja. These are all good ways.

I’ve talked about keeping your parents awake for years to make them weak. And I’ve  talked about what to do if you get caught.This is all very important information if you are going to be a criminal.

Well, how would you like it if you didn’t have to work so hard to get what you want? What if I told you that you can have whatever you want? What if I told you that you don’t have to worry about getting caught? Does this sound too good to be true?

Well it is true.

If you want your mom or dad to do something  like buy you candy or toys, or take you somewhere, or anything like that, you have to trick them. You need to trick their minds. Here’s what you do. Just walk up to them and look them straight in the eye and really slowly say “buy me candy”. Then you wave your hand. You will hypnotize them and they will do whatever you want them to.

Try it. It works. I saw it in a movie.

Good Luck.


jedi 001





5 responses

10 06 2009

Ahhh the old Jedi mind trick…I think I am immune.

10 06 2009

Exactly. You “think” you’re immune. That’s the beauty of it.

10 06 2009
Jennifer Juniper

Interesting, but listen to my trick. I sit beside my mom and say “Can I have candy? Can I please have candy? I won’t have candy tomorrow if you let me have candy today.” approximately 186 times. My mom says it melts her brain.

10 06 2009
katie ~ motherbumper

Please stop giving my daughter advice because son-of-a-gun, your ideas work.

10 06 2009

I may share this with my kid. Anything’s better then the fricken consistent crying.

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