The Master Plan

15 06 2009

People often say to me “TLC, you make it look so easy. You are truly a master criminal”. OK, so people don’t actually say that to me but I know they are thinking it. And they are right. I do make it LOOK easy. It looks easy because every time I pull a job, I have planned and researched and rehearsed every tiny detail. I make a master plan.

There are usually at least 5 steps to every master plan.

1. Choose the target – This could be anything. Maybe some treats in the kitchen, or your brother’s favorite toy, or…

2. Plan your route – You need to plan exactly how you are going to get from your bedroom, say, to the bathroom (maybe) and back again. It’s also good to have a backup route. Just in case.

3. Gather your tools – You may need to position a stool or something to get to your target if it is in a high cupboard. You’ll also need a backpack or bag to carry your loot.

4. Plan a diversion – You’ll need to distract mom or dad or whoever might see you.

5. Practice – You’ll want to do a “dry run through”. You could time yourself with a stopwatch.

If you follow these steps you’ll be a master criminal, too, and be well on your way to a life of crime.

And so you know, in the time it has taken you to read this, I’ve stolen $80 worth of mom’s makeup from the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. And I’m wearing lipstick.

What’s your master plan?

Good luck,


the plan 001





9 responses

15 06 2009

Wow. You are good….

15 06 2009

Yes I am.

16 06 2009

I admire your discipline TLC but do you ever do anything spur of the moment? Inquiring minds want to know (and learn)

17 06 2009

I like to plan to my spontaneity.

16 06 2009

Quite the little dickens, aren’t you. Love the drawings, by the way.

17 06 2009

TLC–you are amazing. But how do you not gloat when you have achieved your master plan’s goal? I always get caught after the plan because I can’t keep the laughter inside.

21 06 2009
Jennifer Juniper

I think my mom would say that my strength is in climbing. I can achieve the impossible by climbing quietly. Stools, upside down laundry baskets, pillows…I use them all.

15 07 2009
Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas

Are you sure you’re not my son?

15 07 2009

Mom? Is that you?

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