Where Foofa Kicks Some Mighty Morphin’ Ass

11 06 2009

Dear Little Criminal,

Let’s say, hypothetically speaking of course, that your older brother (only by 4 years) received every single Power Ranger known to mankind for Christmas.  And let’s also say, hypothetically speaking, that you received baby crap like those wierdo Yo Gabba Gabba creatures.

How do I get the cool toys without my brother tattling on me or snatching them back?  Yeah, I know I can steal them and hide them, but what fun are Power Ranger action figures if you can’t have them fight each other in public?

Signed, The Little Brother

Dear LB,

Do you know what the best kind of crime is? It’s the kind when nobody even knows a crime was committed. It’s like when you steal another kid’s candy and he thanks you for it.

That is your challenge and opportunity here. You need your brother to want your Brobee and Foofa so bad he’s willing to give you anything, even his Power Rangers.

This might take a little while so you need to be patient.DJLanceRock

You could start by telling your brother some Yo Gabba Gabba stuff. You could say “DJ Lance is so cool. He’s friends with Elijah Wood. You know, Frodo from Lord of the Rings”. Then you could say “And he’s friends with Yuko Araki. She’s super cool. And he’s friends with Tony Hawk. Tony Hawk is soooo cool.”

Then you have to just walk away.

plexA little later you could walk by your brother with Plex and say “OK Plex, let’s go do some robot stuff”. Just the word “robot” will get your brother’s attention.

Keep doing stuff like that.

It’s going to take time but after a while your brother is going to start to think that Yo Gabba Gabba toys are really pretty cool.

Next, you need to get your brother to start thinking about his Power Rangers in a different way. When he’s playing with them you could say “Oh yah, Power Rangers. Kids used to think they were cool. A long time ago. Oh well, I guess you still like them. Their costumes are pretty”.

And you can say “ Power Rangers was cool before all the plot inconsistencies over the death of Zordon.” At that moment walk away.power-rangers_turboranger

By now you have planted all the seeds you need to convince your brother that Power Rangers are lame.

Pretty soon your brother will lose all interest in his Power Rangers toys and will want to play with your super-cool Yo Gabba Gabba stuff instead.

The Power Rangers will be yours for the taking. After all that’s what you want, right?

Good luck,